I’ve never spent a Christmas in jail. Not sure why not. Seems pretty on brand for me. Maybe this is the year.

Finally you can see exactly how many many people saw your tweet, read it, and thought, “I am indifferent and unmoved to respond.”

2023 Goals 1. Watch every scrap of footage I can find of Martin Mull performing live. 2. Paint more large pieces. 3. Be even more chaotic neutral. 4. Learn to do something new and scary.

I’m the guy who says “please” to the AI.

That can’t even get their movie slate going. Let James Gunn take it one step at a time.

Some Guy: How should we predict the weather? The Squad: …Psychic Rat? Yeah, psychic rat.

"MidJourney, imagine a psychic rat that tells the weather."

When you find a genii in a bottle they’re like sorry, I can’t grant you more than three wishes. But if you could find two geniis then you could tell Genii 2 I wish that genii 1 would give me unlimited wishes. I bet the look on the first genii’s face would really be something.

Guy: Can I borrow your phone to Google something? Me: What? Guy: I want to see if pigs are mammals. Me: …What else do you think they might be? Guy: I guess they could be some breed of lizard. Me: They absolutely could not be.

Shameful

As you look at that trendy filtered photo of your teenage face and start to get misty eyed with nostalgia, take a moment to meditate on what a fuckin moron you were at 15.

This week has been a gift, especially since I love responding “Who’s Steven Chowder?”

Is Dune 2 the part where something happens? *ducks behind a rock*

Someone asked me why I didn’t write anything on my sign, bitch I’m on STRIKE!!!

If it weren’t for so much of the story happening in Infinity War/Endgame, the Guardians movies could be one of the great trilogies.

I’m the eldest boy!!! I’m the ELDEST BOY!!! - me now, any time I’m feeling entitled (most days)

I genuinely enjoy being fired by a client for all the right reasons. It’s often the work that got me fired that entices better and new clients.

As someone who is both evil and uses a wheelchair, this is erasure in the name of progression: screenrant.com/doctor-who-dav… #doctorwho #davros #russelltdavies

Twisters made a mint, so brace yourself for: Deep Impacts Backdrafts White Squalls Dante’s Peaks Alives

holy shit there is nothing that can prepare you for when they cut to the interview