When the plane is about to take off and you hear the guy next to you say he invented a car that runs on water instead of gas.

The shirt pull for a fatass is like a yy for a gamer

Sometimes you look up from your phone and realize that the highway you’re driving on is quite beautiful

STOP BEING AVERAGE -Do 90,000 steps a day -Brush your teeth with creatine -Eat 900g of protein daily -Run marathon sub 30 min -Drink 15 litres of water -Do a triathlon every Saturday -Lose 15kg in a week

Any occupation can be done without a female. Quit giving them pitty feel good jobs, they're just taking up space and overhead.

Nah this is the realest shii my Dad ever told me

Most defensive people on Earth ranked: 1. Pit bull owners 2. Potheads 3. Zionists 4. SEC football fans

How to properly get rid of a wasp nest

24 years old. Fully paid off Costco hotdog. It's not "parents money". It's not luck. It's consistency. It's discipline. I grind EVERYDAY to live this lifestyle.

Women get raped once and it becomes their whole identity. Men are raped every day by their bosses, by their families, by the IRS… and say absolutely nothing.

Single moms when they see a guy with a job

Joe DiMaggio easily had the craziest career path: 1936 - World Series 1937 - World Series 1938 - World Series 1939 - World Series 1941 - World Series 1943 - WWII 1944 - WWII 1945 - WWII 1947 - World Series 1949 - World Series 1950 - World Series 1951 - World Series Then he went

If you're fat and I see you in public, that's rape. You're raping me.

“Must be willing to manage multiple projects in a faced-paced environment”

i would still love her if she was a worm but not if she was fat

Why are coffee shops so gay? When did liberals steal coffee from us?! Fuck...

Called a black guy Mike Tomlin last night. Don’t think he liked that.

she gon get this neet meat 🙏

POV you’re a junior banker at JP Morgan and your MD wants to have a performance chat