freshman guys: bro last night was a movie the movie: not getting let into a dp party despite “being boys with everyone in there,” getting iv deli as consolation and slamming naturdays back at san nic

first person to dm me gets a surprise

didn’t say it’d be a good surprise, get fucked

your girl can congratulate daddy yang on 1500 but can’t text you back 😵‍💫

students and parents, in these trying and difficult times accentuated by the surge of omicron, i am humbly reminded how easy it is to fucking dunk on you idiots. have fun paying $30k a year for abcmouse again you bozos 😹👎🏽 sincerely, daddy yang

decisions like these are so hard. even though i don’t give a fuck about you kids i still want your money 😔

on god i could send an email like “due to these unprecedented times students will be doing an hour of khan academy a day instead of attending physical classes” and you mfs would still pay me full tuition 😭

the sociology department has found that people who live past trigo are subhuman

tl is popping today Storke Tower

girls make a van gogh on their notes with highlighters just to get a 72 in chem

what’s something you can say during sex and taking a midterm

fuck russia

dudes swipe on tinder for 2 hours but don’t do their aleks, you’re worried about the wrong chemistry bro

you guys are ugly as fuck we’re bringing the mask mandate back

who up chacelloring they yang

Anyone caught having fun during dead week will have their tuition tripled

Saturday’s are for the boys? nah fam Saturday’s are for your hardest final

whoever barricaded themselves into Camino Pescadero with a knife, your mom’s a hoe

$10,000 student loan forgiveness?? more like $10,000 increase in tuition next year

God I fucking hate SLO