Every time I tweet I imagine myself going up to hundreds of people one by one and saying the idea out loud to them. If it makes me feel empowered and chic, I tweet it. If it makes me feel sad, scared, alone, I draft.

The queen should knight a porn star as her last move

I wish BeReal let me take a pic whenever I wanted. I hate that it just lets me take a pic when it chooses. Idk. It just sucks.

Sometimes I’ll straight up sit and eat an entire box of altoids in front of my friends, not caring at all about outside opinions

A fun new way to support my bald ass is to head on over to UCB Theatre LA this Sunday at 10pm to watch the funniest do my favorite thing in the world. Grab yourself a ticket and bring a friend/lover because 100 percent of the proceeds go directly to my gofundme. ucbcomedy.com/show/lyndsey-f…

Had an audition for BestBuy today. One line, three words. After my first take, I got the note “less spiritual please”

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and Ourselves. Also, I Shrunk the House, and Most, if Not All of Our Belongings. Our World View Probably Won't Change That Much. The Perspective Will Remain the Same, but Know That we are Shrunk.

Not a joke. Just did a Capitol tour, at the Lincoln Memorial the tour guide said “This is the biggest statue of a gay guy in the world.” And moved on.

a bit much

What is a performance?

The way Lukas Gage and Chris Appleton announced their engagement is slaying

Letterboxd has so many talented reviewers

Come to this tomorrow night! I dare you!

Drag name: Mary Effkil (It’s been 17 years since I’ve used this app)

I heard all the clamoring for “content from 2003” so I listened

Drag names sale! Mail me cash

Drag name sale part deux

Ok final part! Drag name sale

A peek into Kamala and her cabinet (brutally honest gays)