I’ve never met someone named Oliver

Do you know what soup the apl is serving today?

dang... who’s gonna tell him we broke up two years ago?

the p in women stands for poop

in a time of celebrating small victories, I want to announce that I have FINALLY gotten all of the tinder boys who I started talking to at the beginning of quarantine off of my Snapchat best friends list this is what feminism is ladies

Who put me next to meme lords at this protest

ISU: don’t travel anywhere! ISU: if u have COVID do NOT stay here and instead go back to your family home with your older parents 💕✨

sometimes I get a bug bite on my stomach and I convince myself that I’ve grown a third nipple

the boys who facilitated my covid test live in my mind rent free 😌

omg a shart that doesn’t result in you pooping yourself should just be called a fart

this was my best tweet hands down

ngl this account kinda fell off

a Nickelodeon kids choice awards slime moment but it’s with my gynecologist and the slime is shooting out from between my legs

update: i finally have met someone named Oliver

Where’s Waldo 2, This Time It’s Personal!

scrolling through my tweets on here giggling and kicking my feet

when god looks down to earth does he hear us fart?

the real barbenheimer is seeing Barbie first and then dropping your own bomb in your toilet as soon as you get back

“I love red light therapy” she says while taking a hit from her vape

grieving but still serving