Happiness is arriving home for the holidays and seeing Christian Underwood RP at the airport to pick you up. I'll be home faster than a cat lapping chain lightning.

Went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few tidbits for the house and some nosy bird asked how I got my license. Stupid twit, I learned from the bloody best! Christian Underwood RP By the way Christian, that emergency brake trick you taught me for parallel parking works great!

I know bugger all about American football but Geno and Scotty seem to be having the time of their lives. Oh well, Christian is making cupcakes so I'm happy. :)

For a change of pace I decided to take Christian Underwood RP shopping. We had so much bloody fun, until I got the bill. 🤣♥️🤣♥️🤣

Out & about Christian, once again he ninja shoots another fantabulous picture of me that looks ten times better than I really do. I always saw him as an executive, cook, hair stylist, driver, wrestler, smartass & parental unit. I guess I need to add photographer. Christian Underwood RP

// RIP Scott Hall. 😭

Tried to do sexy once and could quite pull it off so I followed Christian's suggestion and just went back to bed. It worked out great!

Wasn't this the shot for the PWI cover?

Yes it's #Caturday, I know. Leave me alone, I'm busy.

I haven't forgotten about the Kardashians.

I am NOT going on any bloody boat!

Maybe if I stayed drunk for two weeks? A self induced coma with an IV could work but how...? Does anyone here know how to self induce a coma?

A reminder for everyone concerned, your bloody boat can kiss my arse. Thank you, that is all.

Bloody hell! Christian and Scotty brought me on board this metal monstrosity just begging to be sunk. I'm not leaving this cabin! I have six life preservers, shark repellant and an inflated life raft in here. I'm going to go back to bed in this raft and sleep until I can go home.

All you people blindly going to the bloody pool, completely ignorant of what lurks in the water...

My cabin is running low on food. This is not good.

If I hear one more bloody question about Crystal Hilton... She's going to get hurt, accept it and move on.

I want that bitch again.