is pancakes a sandwich? Yes is fried chicken a sandwich? Yes is free wi-fi a sandwich? Yes

I can’t believe I’m in love with such a dumbass

I wake up to a new millennium ready to kick your ass

Got me hecked up on flea repellant

Oh heck yeah im into COFFEE: Cats Organized For believing Flat Earth Es real please believe me i promise

Happy Mario Day, don’t forget to smoke big doinks and do crime

you could say i'm like the michael jordan of throwin up. like the david bowie, of huckin big donks

im waste a whole roll of toilet paper. im waste u’re turd roll

Real gamers think about hotdog 23/7. the other 1/7 is for ｈｏｔ ｄｏｇ

I regret my actions probably

making a big pit of chili and you’re invited. no, it’s not a typo. yes, you must get in the pit

Ancient crystals have alchemical properties for example this one lets you turn any can of liquid into original pre-ban 4loko

TEETH

never met a baby i couldnt headbutt

y’all ever achieved immortality

Can I be your mom

Any cat who promises not to toot is a liar and a crook

In the Academy Award-nominated film, The First Cat Haver, I play the role of the first person to ever have a cat. Together we go on a journey to kill God

Im the biggest cat ive ever seen

i’ll sing you the best oldies of the ‘70s, the ‘80s, and then ‘95 specifically (it is “Kiss From a Rose” as made famous by Seal on the official soundtrack to Batman Forever from Warner Bros Pictures this is indisputable dont @ me)