Do you burn some bridges or keep them for posterity .. ?

So there I was, walking down the street with a half a bottle of champagne and an ice berg lettuce in my hand ..

Shower sex is hot but logistically challenging what with cats being afraid of water and all.

Ahhh those first few months of sex with your boyfriend when you are actually thinking about him while you do it

Voracious. What a great word. I want to be voracious about something.

#logies disappointed ... Carrie or Asher at a minimum. Scott, ok, nice block, I mean bloke.

Carrie Bickmore ... Super sub gold, you rock #logies

Music crap @ Logies. Except Tina Arena who killed it. Dammit, show in' my age.

Minding nieces nephews & dogs for four days. Such a blessing. #contraception

C'mon who voted for that? Scott Block, good with a drill, or Carrie Bickmore who has redefined prime time media so it's enjoyable? #Logies

What if rather than falling off the wagon, the wagon tipped you off, in a roller coaster Cyclone Ita on crack kind of ride.

Sometimes you can be ridiculously smart, know all the research, methods, answers, & the pain will still bring you to you knees #depression

Typos in tweets. More self flagellation.

In a local pub and all I can see is my 1987 science teacher, pooker - no hang on, apparently it's called snooker & golf on tv. Kill me now.

The iPhone 5 has the battery power of an Energizer Bunny on crack who has been to rehab 3 times. #iphone5

I really miss my glasses, both pairs. If only I could look and find them.

Gratitude is the best attitude adjustment. The more beauty you see the more you create.

Our prayers are with the missing Nigerian girls and their families. It's time to #BringBackOurGirls. -mo

Just disgusted. An educated man with awful, heated, vehement opinion on our TV. We don't need more pot stirring. Wake up. #theprojecttv