It's harder for women to lose unwanted weight than it is for men, because "WHERE" the weight is makes it more stubborn. Men on average have 10-15 unwanted pounds stored in their midsection. Women have 5-30 unwanted pounds stored in their imaginations.

Don’t mistake my weakness for Kindness!!!

I dialed 1(900)MIXALOT, it’s not in service.

Ugh, ladies. Swipe left on mitochondria. Every single one of them: incells. (Animal A&P might break my brain)

An interview with Ky Dickens | The L Stop thelstop.org/2012/05/an-int… via @The L Stop

Will be in the Sarcastic Squad comedy show at Town Hall Pub, June 4th, 8pm. Come on folks!

Tonight at 10:30 pm I'm doing an open mic at Ace in Lincoln Park. Then afterwards who knows?

"Okey, now what?" - Every leprechaun this week

Just learned the lyric isn't "take me down like I'm at Dominoe's". Thanks for correcting me, Nobody!

The difference between a TargetRedCard and a peanut? Nobody dies from savings allergies! #TargetRedCard #signupwithCasey

Bob's Aspergers #RuinACartoon After Midnight

It's a super ambivalent nostalgia, but I kind of miss when pretty girls in my class would insist on doing my makeup.

New way to keep neck warm: braid your hair in front around the neck. This only keeps the front of ur neck warm, but boy does it look neat!

MY face is dopey but i will cherish this picture forever x.com/ChiLaughFactor…

Hey. Come to Coles Chicago Caberet on Sunday at 8. Super people dressed super nice! What more can I say? Oh right super cheap hooch!