Sometimes I have no words. Sometimes I have too many.

I'm pretty sure I just entered a new generational gap phase of my life. It's called, "I'm too f'ing old for this shit."

I have no idea if you really love me, but after 3 bottles of wine. I really don't care.

Each step is a hole.

I would so buy a drink for Death … he's seen some shit.

I like the way "homicidal maniac" rolls on the tongue In a cutesy cartoony way.

He burned the bacon then hung himself. What's not to understand?

People pushed you away then they act all surprised when you vanished from their world.

I got lost in your eyes and panicked, so I gouged them out. Sorry.

My idea of going to confession is deleting my browser history ever Sunday.

Fuck it, I'm crossing to the dark side cause I'm a badass *sucks on rainbow colored lollipop, walk like a thug.

Versatile tweets are understood only by those w/ versatile minds.