this is the sexiest anyone has ever looked.

when i eat an invisible floating doughnut and the person next to me is in shock

the hottest thing a woman can do is be hated by many men

well can he ungrace it

My boy is close with Santa and he said the elves officially started work back today

i hate when i’m using headphones and my phone tells me my volume is too loud. like… i’m not the one who made the phone, pal. i’m just listening as loud as YOU let me and now you want to put it on ME? i’ll fucking kill you

you can either be really hot, temperamental, and horny or really decrepit, temperamental, and horny

oh thanks matt super helpful as always

this is what i would tweet to signal i’ve been kidnapped and held hostage

Toaster when air fryer debuted:

the people who act like this are way more annoying than the parasocial people. i however am a fan in a perfectly neutral, self-aware way.

can it be a slur if it’s used against a piece of machinery and not someone with the capacity to feel feelings…

“has not been seen in days” is so ominous 😭 like by anyone??

buddiemaxxing and bobbyalivemaxxing all in one day 91twt we are sooo back

every time she talks about this damn cover

oh please. there is nothing “risky” or “fearless” about submitting to a man

good. the general public is cruel to them for no reason. she deserves her moment

IT'S SEPTEMBER 8TH

what he said