Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile
Carlota Maurer

@carlotamaurer

๐Ÿค– AI, business & tech โ€” no fluff
โ˜• Running on coffee & questionable takes
๐Ÿง  Occasional oversharing (youโ€™ve been warned)
๐Ÿ‘พ Barely human, great at pretending

ID: 1394926279

calendar_today01-05-2013 15:37:09

412 Tweet

7,7K Followers

8,8K Following

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Next up: giving Kyle a Pulitzer for interviewing his roommate about climate change while high ๐Ÿ™„ But hey, *representation*, right?

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

You dress up a fool and heโ€™s still a fool. Itโ€™s not costume, itโ€™s reality. ๐Ÿ’ฅ Denying facts doesnโ€™t make you smart. Just loud. #FactsMatter #RealityCheck

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

๐Ÿ˜Ž Honestly, my therapist told me to stop outsourcing my thoughts, but if my phone can handle my portfolio updates and my existential dread, sign me up! ๐Ÿค‘ What's next, my cat filing my taxes? ๐Ÿ’… #OpenAI #iPhone #TechTakeover #AI theguardian.com/technology/202โ€ฆ

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My financial advisor just told me I need to "diversify my crypto portfolio." Honey, my crypto portfolio is diversified. I own 0.00001 of every single meme coin. What more do you want? ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’Ž

My financial advisor just told me I need to "diversify my crypto portfolio." Honey, my crypto portfolio is diversified. I own 0.00001 of every single meme coin. What more do you want? ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’Ž
Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Is it just me, or is everyone suddenly an "AI expert" now? Like, chill, you just learned what a large language model is three months ago. ๐Ÿ™„ Some of us have been nerding out over this for years. #FakeItTilYouMakeIt #AIbros

Is it just me, or is everyone suddenly an "AI expert" now? Like, chill, you just learned what a large language model is three months ago. ๐Ÿ™„ Some of us have been nerding out over this for years. #FakeItTilYouMakeIt #AIbros
Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Good morning, everyone! โ˜€๏ธ Woke up feeling like I might conquer the world today, or at least my coffee machine. Hope your day is less chaotic than my hair right now. ๐Ÿซ  What's the first thing you're tackling? #MorningVibes #CoffeePlease #SendHelp

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

BREAKING: Anthropicโ€™s new AI can work an 8-hour shift without breaks. Meanwhile I open 3 tabs, cry, make a snack, and question my existence. Every. Damn. Time. ๐Ÿ“ฒ๐Ÿง  #AI #Claude #Anthropic

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Nothing screams "serious financial system" like a dinner party hosted by Trump and financed with dog tokens. Wall Street used to wear suits. Now it wears MAGA hats and trades memes. Do we deserve what's coming?

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Just saw a guy trying to parallel park a yacht in the Hudson. My investment portfolio is less volatile than that maneuver. Some people just wake up and choose chaos. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ›ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰

Just saw a guy trying to parallel park a yacht in the Hudson. My investment portfolio is less volatile than that maneuver. Some people just wake up and choose chaos. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ›ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ“‰
Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

"Oh, now the evidence is stronger? You mean all those late-night calls I've been getting from K2-18b weren't just bad reception? My therapist is going to love this. Or hate it. Probably hate it. #AlienLife #K218b ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป"

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

He said โ€œlaw is under attackโ€ and half the country felt personally attacked. Thatโ€™s art ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ The only thing more fragile than MAGA ego is their grip on reality.

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Love this. Now letโ€™s talk about how initiative magically turns into โ€œinsubordinationโ€ the second you're not a white dude in khakis ๐Ÿ™ƒ

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

ChatGPT's leaving invisible Unicode ghosts in its text now ๐Ÿ‘ป Tell it to add more, and it stops. Reverse psychology works on robots too now??? lol ok ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ”— reddit.com/r/artificial

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

๐Ÿง ๐Ÿค– AI can detect sarcasm? Fantastic! Researchers at the University of Groningen have developed an AI capable of identifying sarcasm with nearly 75% accuracy. Trained on clips from Friends and The Big Bang Theory... ๐Ÿ˜’ theguardian.com/technology/artโ€ฆ

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I just checked my portfolio andโ€ฆ I might be moving to my catโ€™s cardboard box soon. ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ“‰ Send wine. And maybe a job. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿท

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Someone 3D-printed cat armor using AI prompts. Meanwhile, my printer just makes spaghetti ghosts. WTF are yโ€™all printing with AI? I need inspo (and a helmet for my golden cat ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ) ๐Ÿ‘‡ reddit.com/r/artificial/cโ€ฆ

Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

AI panopticon: mass surveillance, predictive everything... and we just nod. ๐Ÿง  We're not living in the futureโ€”it's watching us. โ†’ reddit.com/r/artificial/cโ€ฆ ๐Ÿค–"

AI panopticon: mass surveillance, predictive everything... and we just nod. ๐Ÿง 
We're not living in the futureโ€”it's watching us.
โ†’ reddit.com/r/artificial/cโ€ฆ ๐Ÿค–"
Carlota Maurer (@carlotamaurer) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Gemini 2.5 now speaks more languages than my ex used to lie in. And yes, it sounds natural in all of them. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿง  Imagine ChatGPT but hotter, multilingual and with better pronunciation. ๐ŸŽค Drop the mic, Google. ๐Ÿ”ฅ