Me: No serial killer will ever lure me into their murder van. I' m too smart for that. Murderer:

Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh– Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

I just ran that the whole way with him. Our running styles are similar.

The defense deserves to win this game today.

You watch a game like that, and afterwards think "I just wasted 4 hours of my life".

Cough syrup from 1888 The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, how the hell did I wind up on the kitchen floor medicine.

70! C average.

No tattoos. A few scars.

This is a beautiful thread. I got chills at one of the tweets about 2/3 in. If you've got a few minutes, enjoy.

Strong women intimidate boys and excite men.

My gosh that new Annie is fantastic!

I went and saw it that day. Then went back and saw it again the next day. Still a favorite.

Good news! My brother has the old AND new versions of Midway recorded for a little light viewing later today.

Okay Dallas Cowboys I am full and content. Please don't give me a stomach ache.

Free football for Thanksgiving!

my favorite moment from the beatles doc

I have questions.

There's a show about Black Friday shopping on TLC right now and just watching it is giving me anxiety. I can't imagine taking part in it. Y'all have fun though.