He’s gonna fuck that bomb

im gonna believe whatever is funniest

I fire a real gun at the screen when I see a bad guy

this is actually so evil especially considering writers arent even asking for much… just a living wage which these huge studios can easily afford to pay

[stepping back from a car hood and throwing an oily rag on my shoulder] yeah I fucked up your engine real bad just now

i need to smoke a blunt w her

I want to smoke the Mario cigarettes

in awe by this photos energy

Waking up on a friends couch still drunk

gang gang

The plan? I'm going to shoot myself in the head with a gun

So humiliating when I go get ice cream with people who order flavors like Earl Gray or Lavender or Lemon and then my greedy ass orders like Chocolate Chipper Double Dipper Brownie Explosion Landslide

hot summer nights mid july when you and i were forever wild

barbie was so good that i forgot to tweet about the guy in the pink fedora who stood up during the nicole kidman movies monologue and recited it aloud with his hat over his heart. and then everyone applauded him. i love you philadelphia.

Having a “The Bear” summer: - Panic attacks - Disassociating - Living in past trauma - Eating a lot of sandwiches - Calling people cousin - Shouting

me n the girls on our way to watch the barbie movie

Elon FUCKED small business Twitter… I was getting 20-30 orders a month and this month I’ve gotten 8… if you see this please RT! All my bongs are 25% Off!

this is my 19 year old brother’s wallet i am so serious rn

The alternate definition of the verb, ‘tweet’, as in, ‘to make a posting on the Twitter online message service’, is in the actual dictionary. No other social media app has anything like it. Imagine disposing of that level of brand recognition because of a mid-life crisis.