Is this what they are doing on other planets?

“Come here stella stelly come here bella lily Nala nunu” yeah keep buying more cats Frank that will make your wife come back to you

(In RFK jrs voice) “This is one of the falcons I’ve been training to catch people’s dogs from their backyards in New Mexico”

Running from this hangover like Bill Clinton in ‘93

Made some fan art

Don’t hear much from Yoko Onos husband anymore???

Let out a fart so bad people near by needed narcan

Had a dream last night I was at a comedy club and a guy was doing a RFK jr impression and it was bad so I started heckling him

“Time for a little night cap” (Cracks warm can of miller lite)

(Goose in therapy) “So what were your parents like growing up?” “Idk, My dad died when I was young, he honked at on coming traffic and then ran directly into it” “I’m so sorry, and your mom?” “Lost her too, got shot by two 18 year old boys on senior cut day”

Girlfriend called me immature, Wait till she sees me show up to her cousins wedding next week with a game boy and a propeller hat

Me following Tito’s instagram account is like the woman who killed Selena following hers

For the last fucking time. This IS NOT a family movie. What family is this for?? A dis functional one that’s for sure!

Is the stanky leg when I have diarrhea in my pants and try to exit the bar while dancing?

Walked into the men’s bathroom and said eureka!….EUREKA SHIT!

Where’s the cum?!!? Where’s the cum?!?! Ummm idk Einstein have you checked THE BALLZ???????

You know how when you’re thirsty you dream of drinking water? Well I must have really wanted to wipe my ass last night

Saw a porn titled “flex tape can’t fix this” so naturally I clicked on it. Phil Swift didn’t make a single Cameo

When I named this account, this is the shit I was talking about. Not that ungodly shit.