Many, many, many people see me as a father figure to them. Example: YOU.

I scrubbed the poop deck with a toothbrush for hours but Daddy’s still mad at me

Peeing in a church is a sin. Yes, against god the father that is.

Do clowns punish ppl for being gay

the socket of love is calling my name, ringing in my ears, echoing echoing echoing like a… um.. siri what echoes a lot 😅 … OH duh a fucking boomerang or whatever

Calling a transwoman “they” is worse than any kind of physical, mental, or spiritual torture you could perform on a nonbinary person

When I’m upset with my old wife, I go ethical nonmonogomy ✈️ unethical nonmonogomy 😈

*Sigh* My wife lives to see another day… 🙄

not everyone has to make hyperpop and that’s okay

Classic Baton Rouge, Louisiana

The world is a giant bloody pimple

show me your tits Jimmy Fallon

There are 10 jimmy fallon stans (falpals) and all of them have me blocked. Because I believe that those with less fingers are equal. So the second someone drops a digit they chopped liver? My oh my that’s quite rich baby. So… let’s get this trending. We will show them. 😈

I am the Falpal of the Jimmy u couldn’t burn.

we are the grandthems of the folx you couldn’t burn

I don’t think this is funny but I know it’s gonna do fucking numbersssss within the next 5 min prob. Now I sit back and watch Fortune come on me. Does the joke itself give me joy or fulfillment? No. But boy is that money LOUD when it clangs on me!! And maybe some dumbass hid me

Fruit Hater overslept and missed it but will be back next year

I wish I was a fake ass bitch

It might sound like a joke, but I’m addicted to poop. Yes I am 64. Yes I am disabled mentally. Yes I am afraid of it. But yes it is my sin. I attract what I stink.

You are what you stink.