Some guy literally asked for a picture with me because he said I look like Chris Cornell haha

I can’t wrap my head around people who get jealous of one another’s accomplishments!! Hell, I aspire to surround myself with people who go for it because you are what you surround yourself with

If Spider-Man gets a female counterpart, will she be named either…?

Finkle is Einhorn

My childhood hero, Johnny Knoxville is gonna be at the Royal Rumble in STL on the 29th. Now I don’t know how, but imma Harold & Kumar my ass to STL & meet one of my 🐐. One of my only celebrities I gotta meet

Lost my ability to taste & smell a while ago because of the VID & imma be honest, not tasting food is a miserable f’ing existence

Scarves can be a warmth accessory as well as an inconspicuous bank robbery mask. I like the flexibility

Jail is unique as It’s the one place you actually pay rent to get out of.

Does everyone agree that Scarface > The Godfather?

Colorful joke, huh? (Visually Remastered)

The world is ready for a new Harold & Kumar

I plan on getting a Waldo tattoo & no one will ever find him.

I sell custom hats on Mercari & my slogan is “Give This Hat Some Head!”

I love Joe Rogan’s response to criticism. When do the news networks own up to being wrong? Look, It’s a global pandemic. There’s a learning curve for everyone so it seems illogical to vilify Joe & not everyone at every news outlet

Took in a stray cat. Why is it following me around meowing at me constantly? I don’t have experience with cats. I know they’re housebroke bc they’re using the kitty litter. I fed, watered, & gave it toys. Am I missing a crucial element from the cat handbook?

No matter how good it is, It’ll be strange watching #jackassforever with no Ryan Dunn

Now i understand that rock bottom place people are always talking about.

Uncle Sam is the most notorious serial rapist on the planet considering he fucks all of us every tax season.

My wallet should me too uncle sam

Auditioning for a few production companies on the 20th with the opportunity to make some bank. This may just be the opportunity that i needed.