My wife threw my new football over the wall as she thought it belonged to our neighbour’s 9 year old lad. I’ve had to ask them if I can please have my ball back. I’m 36 years old.

So my bank holiday has ended up with me getting pissed out my hed in the garden whilst my brother is sanding a fucking bowl and my old girl is Knitting could be up there with the best bank hols I’ve had 🤥🤥

I wanna be like you 😎

The clap for NHS is the only way a know what day it is now

We're now ready for takeoff, please fasten your seatbelt 🚀

Id actually spend £30 n buy them poxy fucking airbuds if it meant I never saw them advertised again

Living room renovation + dogs own space 🥺

just want to be day drinking in the sun with my friends :(

no point maccers being open if they ain’t got chicken legend meals on the menu

Today’s the day every lad has waited 3 months for 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 ⚽️

If only we could go back 2 years, what a summer that was

Transferring £13.70 to my savings everyday until further notice.

How can you cheat on someone and actual lie there with them and cuddle them have sex with them tell them you love them knowing fine well what you’ve been up to behind their back 💔 like how disgusting can people be, pure evil

Is it me or does the Swiss manager look like the news presenter off the simpsons?

A huge shout out to #OneOfOurOwn Callum Keys for running 100 miles this month for the Teenage Cancer Trust. 5 miles to go, donations welcomed! facebook.com/donate/3652548… football Friendly finder Essex County FA Sceptre League