My type of bottle service

“what’s your WiFi password” “It’s on the back of the router” Router:

This is Riley. Every morning he hangs over the wall and drops his toy so the nearest passerby is forced to play with him. It works 100% of the time. 14/10

one of my personality traits is sending 17 short texts instead of 1 long one

One of my blinds broke in my bedroom so I just went to CVS

And now, a video of a person trying to put gas in a Tesla

COPPER BLUES BRUNCH LAUNCH 2.10.19 #YouHadMeAtBrunch #UNKWNBrunch

IVE CREATED A MONSTER! If you missed out, you definitely want to be at the next one! EVERY Sunday join me at @copperbluesMIA 🍾🥂 #YouHadMeAtBrunch Miami Soundwave Rich POOH 🐐

If I lay here, if I just lay here..would you lie with me and just forget the world

me af when I’m cleaning lmao

This is Willo. She likes to awoo while she eats. Tonight’s meal was worthy of a gentler, but perhaps more meaningful, second awoo. 13/10

him: “she’s prob cheating on me on her girls trip” her:

when you put your 2 weeks notice in, so naturally you get a table and round up the squad to celebrate and everyone thinks it’s your bday 😂

I’m on the edge of my seat!