Love is sharing your City House head cheese burger with your toddler. She's lucky she's so damn cute.

Cardiovascular disease is the #1 killer of Americans. On October 4, I am walking in the American Heart Association... social.heart.org/GvQOl7f

"You can make it up, but it has to be on form." --Wynton Marsalis #nashvillesymphony

Let the "adventures in flight delays" live tweeting commence!

Over the intercom: "A tornado warning is in effect. A tornado has been spotted in the area. Step away from windows." Maybe I want the delay?

And then: "This is just a test of the emergency system." How 'bout you pick a sunny day to test that bad boy, BNA. Hate the delay again.

Missing my meeting, fine. But I just realized I'm going to miss my massage. RAGE.

Starbucks gave me a chai latte instead of a chai. I sent that shit back. Today's not the day, barista.

OH: "...my flight's delayed. I'm lookin right at Tootsie's orchid lounge right now. Might just go get drunk." I feel ya, cowboy.

My mother's now recommending pre-noon drinking as well. Maybe these two are onto something.

Sucking up to the chick who rebooks flights. Initiating a collective eye-rolling at the guy who yelled at her. Feeling good ab my chances.

SUCCESS! Detour thru DE-troit, but I'll take it. I love you too, flight rebooking chick.

And a flight voucher to boot? I take back everything I said about you to the drunk cowboy, Southwest.

Mr. Bill Israel was unable to contain his #pytn2015 enthusiasm this morning. Tongue-out finger-gun FTW Bill Israel

Go time. #RunCMM

That moment when you realize your beach house doesn't have a wine opener and OH THANK GOD I BOUGHT SCREW CAPS.

Throwback to 2009. It's been a good ride. Time for a mom car. #MINI instagram.com/p/7BSQXbxfV93L…

My mom car. Four doors for the kid, turbo for mom. #MINI

To the punk who egged my MINI: IT'S ON.

You're welcome. m.youtube.com/watch?v=9V1fX-…