My latest book The First Kid in Space is perfect holiday reading for anyone 9+. Think Charlie and the Chocolate Factory meets The Traitors. In space. With a tech bro villain. (Yes, really.) (And any RTs gratefully received!!!)

And nothing puts me off a novel faster than it being described as “lyrical.” It ALWAYS means overwritten.

Right. I’m fed up with having no money. I’ve decided to go ALL IN on crypto. Who’s with me? I hear you can make BILLIONS. Also, what is crypto?

Just had to reprimand my 13-y-o for throwing my 9 y-o’s pants out of the window, after my 9-y-o had called my 13 -y-o a ‘big fat poo’. It is Day 2 of the summer holidays.

i wish i'd been this popular with sex bots* when i was in my 20s. *women

I bought a 7" single the other day called 'The Sounds Wasps Make'. It sounded nothing like wasps. Then I realised: I was playing the B side.

Great that the BBC Radio 4 Today is focusing on reading for pleasure, especially during the long summer holidays. Here's something I wrote for Collins Primary on that very topic! collins.co.uk/blogs/freedom-…

Never change, New York Times

Thought I’d buy the kids a garden badminton kit. Stop them fighting. They knocked the four shuttlecocks over the fence within ten minutes and are now chasing each other with the racquets, screaming.

Tom Mitchell Pants-rage to badminton-rage already...

Spent the afternoon playing badminton with my kids and now my arms ache so much I can hardly lift my wine glass.

They don’t know the sacrifices we make for them.

Finally decided what I want on my gravestone.

Started a new novel in May. Finally decided on the first word. Can’t wait to delete it next week.

Got a children’s book about football out on submission, so I really need England to win. For the good of the country. And marketing.

🍾 🥳 🙌

Well done to EA SPORTS FC - their embrace of the women’s game meant my two boys knew all the names of not only the English players yesterday but the Spanish too!

This afternoon I board a budget airline with my two children. They’ve been eating Haribo all day. Please pray for me. And for the other passengers.

Love this.