I will give $750 to the first Trumper who can sufficiently explain to me why it's okay that Donald J. Trump paid practically nothing in income taxes while the rest of us give 30-40% of our (much smaller) paychecks to the government. I'll wait. #TrumpTaxes

"Stay in the kitchen or be a conservative," Lindsey Graham , on the subject of women succeeding in America. #Vote2020 #WhyVote #VoteForHer nytimes.com/live/2020/11/0…

You know things have changed a lot in 4 years when Lindsey Graham went from willing to speak out against Donald J. Trump with The Daily Show, to auditioning for Jeff Sessions' role of "little bitch" in 2020. youtu.be/tPOOXp3S2UI

integrity makes me horny

Shoutout to #Qanons--some of you know you're doing it, and some of you are too stupid to know you're doing it. If you believe there is a pedophilia ring around the country involving ~coincidentally~ every politician you don't like-- you have been duped. washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/…

The President is trying to incite violence on the eve of the election because he’s worried that he’ll lose, and he’s worried that his attempts to cheat won’t work, either.

Oh my how quickly we’ve forgotten the fly on Pence’s head

WOO 1 republican with balls. That leaves our current total at 1.

I just wanna know which American hero told a bald man to use root spray. Was it the same assistant who booked the Four Seasons?

Tell me more about law and order.

If you don't impeach and remove a President for staging a coup, what's the point of impeachment.

Try these words: “I’m sorry about all the ways I have profited off of and enabled Trump”

Can anyone explain to me why BLM rioting and looting is different than MAGA rioting and looting? 🤔#CapitolHill

So interesting that the biggest “opponent” of ISIS has started a domestic terrorist group himself. #CapitolHill Donald J. Trump

*when you work in social media and need to post ASAP*

Every time FB or IG goes down, a new Twitter bird earns its wings 👼🕊️ #instagramdown

Twitter: Where You Check If Facebook and Instagram Are Broken! #instagramdown

Imagine this: a band called the Insurrectionists. Their 1st music video is them in khaki suits + Ray Bans while tossing Le Creuset pots at the White House.

Serious question, how and why does a comedian press Congress harder than most journalists?