Jeff Goldblum on his battle with hemorrhoids: “C’est la vie”

texting at work texting when I’m off

The perfect level of drunk to get is when you’re around all your best buds for 2 hours and you start having 30 iq thoughts like “friends are so powerful, thats the meaning of life.”

Handing these out for Halloween.. these white kids are not gonna know that their life is about to change forever

two real great wonderful prose poems today from daniel button. the first two lines of the second are among my fave two lines i've read in a while: "Lately I’ve been hanging around gas stations. They pull me in like a planet tugs a flailing comet." havehashad.com/hadposts/two-p…

The prophecy is already in motion. There is nothing you can do to stop it.

My son has an IEP where he can play Nintendo Switch in class and if the teachers make eye contact with him he gets to take something out of their purse

Chicago Tribune, Illinois, March 22, 1910

how it feels asking people at work if they’re watching white lotus

St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, June 26, 1910

Talking to your coworkers that are decades older than you

I love when older women jump into a conversation with you at the store or anywhere really