I'm making like 7 dudes cry this summer y'all gonna pay for what my ex did to me

men will be like “have you heard of this??” and it’s something i learned when i was 12

l identify as a rich woman. My pronouns are cha/ching

“who hurt you?” me mf i fall in love with retards

if you're on my page looking for clues, here's one

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah”

My greatest adult disappointment was discovering that bad people get away with everything.

me: “I should have about $200 left” bank balance: *$2.79* me:

when you pass someone to see if they look as stupid as they drive

If I die after I pay my rent sit me on the couch till da 30th

Using your speakerphone in public is fucking OBNOXIOUS. Stop it.

It’s called political prostitution. Their ideas are whatever the highest bidder wants their ideas to be.

Unfortunately nothing good comes from showing a man you like him.

if i died and went straight to hell, it would take me a month to realize i wasn't at work anymore

having a roster is not a flex who wants to talk to 9 lame ass men all day long