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@hmntre Oh yeah, I remember you. We hooked up in the bathroom of the Marathon in Spring Hill on December 3rd, 2020. So, what you been doing?

Mother fuckers I don't give no fucking bugs I don't give no folks about nothing. I need some fucking generic ass fucking wobble ass crackers. And I might eat it with some fucking pepperoni chappers chapper Peppers whatever the fuck I don't give no bugs.

Sorry I tied two of your mom’s dildos together and made nunchucks.

Imagine a UFO stopped in the middle of the forest so one of them could take a dump, and then it is killed by a grizzly bear. That would be like weird.

No thanks, I only take advice from fools.

Still trippin' at 55

i simply would not date someone older or younger than me by more than 15 minutes

When ball is life.. 😅

Another day, another what the fuck are you looking at

Grant Random is an asshole. But he's my kind of an asshole. Grant Random

i just dumped an antibiotic in my probiotic kombucha so now it's just Hawaiian Punch

That dude that does the fart prank jokes in Walmart needs to up his game and take an actual dump.

🎶Cause I got one hand in my pocket 🎶 🎶and Im playing pocket pool🎶 🎶Left ball corner pocket 🎶

If I was a professional wrestler, I would wrestle naked as hell except for some boots, and my name would be The Dangler.

When I was a kid and my dad was outside drinking beer, he was always keeping flies away, and I thought "man, he does not want those flies drinking his beer."

Really, the only thing I have to look forward to is the Powerball drawing. Forever.

I secretly replaced your fancy tea bags with Skoal Bandits.

Message bracelet idea: WWAATS What Would Ancient Alien Theorists Suggest