Standing like this by the counter waiting for my food hoping that the hot Goth cashier at Taco Bell thinks I'm cool and mysterious

life sucks and then u find a wife

GUYS

there should be a slippi chat option that only opens after 1hr+ unranked session with options like 'i love you' 'you are like family to me' etc.

sorry boss can’t come into work i gotta stay home and feel really weird and anxious all day

dentist said i can eat candy and stuff because he no longer cares about me or my teeth

Dont care didnt ask plus your pessimistic outlook on life is exhausting

Do u think if you took the truss rod out of your guitar neck you could turn it into a bong or something

Out of cigarettes my life is over

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

What do they call it when you're normal and then suddenly you aren't

i fuck with your gay fagggot aura so bad

To catch u up to speed, had a good breakfast and then the torture started...

Sent from my iPad

She got me listening to Ween

Wow

List still in development