Happy tweeterversary to me. Send chocolate. Or alcohol. Or both.

The way to find out who your true tweeps are... get sick of life and stop tweeting for a while and see who doesn't untweep you.

I've cropped out the identity to protect the pooper from any embarrassment. But here's a tip. If you make someone... fb.me/6AgpgtetK

Moral of the story, don't leave your home unattended. fb.me/6xu7hhdyr

Ghana doesn't have a player named Rhea. *shakes head* They're doing it all wrong.

Happy waffles and bacon day!

I'm like a real taxi driver. My fares hardly talk. And the tips are shitty. #drivingMissTeenDaisy

Bad tweet day when the thumbs and the brain fail at the same time. #typohell

And for my next trick: rush hour traffic while providing a psych consult and brainstorming new card designs. #drivingMissTeen Daisy

There is a time and a place for everything. This is neither. #stepawayfromthetiredmom

Find a penny, pick it up. Then all day long you'll have germy fingers.

My husband called that forehead crease I get when I'm mad, my forehead vagina. He should be afraid to eat anything I give him for a while.

I’ve missed you! Have you missed me? wp.me/p3rwG1-150

It's that time of the year... the back to school walking dead season.

The dog really should know if my team is playing, there will be screaming and she's not in trouble. #gostanford

Alrighty then... fb.me/3g3XDcx5s

No blogging lately. Been busy working on my new line of greeting cards and stationery. Letterpress with a cheeky side

The perfect card for that Martha Stewart-type in your life. o_O... fb.me/2Zf2Lafpx

Awesome... Jeb Bush 2016. #DoucheDynasty

It's a Xmas card. It's a tampon craft. LOL Here's your holiday card for next year, y'all! sparkleponypress.com/collections/ho…