I am on my knees begging you to stop putting lemon where it doesn’t belong

*sends video of me sucking on my fingers* “oops sorry wrong person!!”

i personally wanna see bad theatre like your friend’s partner’s weird downtown shit that doesn’t really work but was clearly put together by human hands who loved it, not bad theatre created by the evilest richest dude in the industry phoning it in 40 years past his prime

Imagine dying and having to stand in front of god or whomever and having to explain why you were a parking enforcement officer

I know this is decidedly not the point of the show but ted lasso ending makes me wanna kms

He’s so hot I want to buy his groceries

I love when a girl posts a selfie and you can just tell it’s because she’s mad at someone

I’m not meant to work I’m supposed be topless in the kitchen making cookies

Respectfully what is going on with chips these days

special skills include crying in penn station

Swiping right on someone you know on a dating app doesn’t mean you’re interested. It’s like waving at a passing ship when you’re out at sea.

No stop that’s my emotional support romantic hyper-fixation you can’t have that

Swiping right on someone you know on a dating app doesn’t mean you’re interested. It’s like waving at a passing ship when you’re out at sea.

The girl version of the Roman Empire is us thinking about our bodies

“Best players” this, “cutest players” that Which team has the hottest fans?? That’s who I’m rooting for #footballsunday

How To Do Winged Eye Liner with My Eyes Specifically

Who cares just keep going

Something about Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift makes me feel so American