ready to do my "main character who lives in the city back in their small hometown for christmas" walk to the big tescos

Merry ‘go to the pub with people you never otherwise see’ day #ChristmasEve

My friend and all round good egg David has had his Twitter account suspended and they haven't told him why. He mostly uses it for promoting his gigs. He's very funny and on twitch, why not follow him. twitch.tv/davidhoarelol?…

What's that you hear? 👂🏼 Tales of Adventure's first show of the year is tomorrow evening?! Well then, you'd better to get down to the Bristol Improv Theatre to hear the next instalment in our heroes' epic tale! Tickets available on our website! buff.ly/33hbbz1

Grab your tickets for this Tuesday's Chops Comedy at Friendly Records in Bedminster here buff.ly/3pSFJA4 We have some amazing acts from the South West and an incredible secret headliner all trying new jokes! #comedy #bristol #bedminster #standupcomedy

Tell you what, the British version of Russian roulette is a lot milder.

Are YOU looking for love this #ValentinesDay? This guy's available... #SilentLee #ValentinesDay2022 #love #valentine #silentmovie #dating #silentcomedy #valentines

I always try to be frank with the woman I date. I don't want them knowing my real name.

Horrible Valentine's ideas: - You Rock My Wordle - Let's Mint Our Love On The Blockchain - Valentine's Day? The thing that killed St. Valentine?

My love language is English but just in Kermit the frog accent

Roses are red Violets are red My eye hurts Everything's red Did you shoot me in the eye with a Cupid's arrow? Arghhhhhhhhhh!

To celebrate Bandcamp Friday, both my live comedy shows are FREE for today only. Which means zero profits go to the artist. STICK IT TO THE MAN! Plus the special edition versions of both shows are only a fiver. Enjoy! (Please retweet) michaellegge.bandcamp.com

I think @ASOS have been having some major supply shortages recently…

You’ve gotta love the fact someone’s taken the time to do this

Dude at Starbucks just left the crowded store and went “Bye everyone,” and every single person in that store said goodbye I literally just met the main character

My kids have just discovered that the family sick bowl and the cake mix bowl are one and the same. In my defence, this was also the case when I was growing up … but now I’ve said it out loud, I realise I need to break the cycle. I won’t be taking any further questions.

we need to bring this back