The TSA searched my hair today. Good to know they won’t let just any shady fellow like me onto a plane

Can we refer to UMN’s colors as maroon and mustard

South Africans will be blatantly racist and claim they definitely aren’t racist. We’ve been through this - you will fix zero problems by blaming everything on that which is other.

So I’ve been thinking: why didn’t they just ask the eagles to throw the infinity gauntlet into Mt Doom at the start of the movie

Sometimes you’ve gotta tic tac to toe

Now that my hair is short, I remind myself of Darth Maul when I look in the mirror. Don’t worry Disney, I’ll act for the Star Wars Story, you just have to paint me.

Donald J. Trump Grow the hell up. What grown man does this? Get help. x.com/realdonaldtrum…

I’ve lived in South Dakota for 16 years and I today I finally think it’s cold

I HAVE TO stop starting my days with naps

Donald J. Trump I have never seen the Republican Party turn a blind eye to corruption, criminal behavior, and nepotism as they are doing right now under Trump. They’ve become a mindless cult similar to Kim Jong Un’s followers in North Korea. Chairman Trump can do no wrong to them. Shameful.

I am now the winter shorts guy ama

Our political situation is like a bad movie, but at least I’m killing it on harmonica in the background

I can’t wait for the next generation of slang. Like maybe it’ll all be named after Photoshop tools... “You’ve gotta listen to this, it smudges” “I’m about to dodge” “He’s looking really Magic Wand Selection Tool”

Ill be satisfied when more people believe in evolution than significant figures

Challis Bro Zone

Taxation is theft until we can’t plow the roads