Let's say that there's two sets of kids. North side kids and South side kids. They live a few hours apart, but only have a single school to go to that they must share. And the school is on the South Side

My 2yo is considered functionally mute. He's getting a tablet to help him communicate. This morning he spoke is the best phrase I've ever heard. Every word crisp and clear. He said, "No sing, Mommy. Hush."

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Alternatives to “you’re welcome” No worries, McFlurries Anytime, key lime No sweat, Will Arnett My pleasure, tape measure It’s all gravy, Secretary of the Navy No prob, Les Miserables It’s cool, sterile mule My pleasure, desperate measure

Using my sticky hand to grab a mozzarella stick from the table next to me

skiing is the only place u can get sunburn and frostbite at the same time

"Come on, George R.R. Martin, get on with it." - me, waiting for the dog to poop

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Can I fax it to you? No Cindy, it’s 2022.

Water freezes at exactly 32° Fahrenheit. So the water in one of these is probably 32.0001° F

Winter storms are coming so be prepared for the usual possibilities this time of year: power outages, frozen pipes, conservatives joking about global warming, and so on

Alvin wanted a hula hoop for Christmas, the bar is set pretty low when Dave is raising three rodent sons

The moment a C. S. Lewis fan begins to deconstruct

Badasses wear capes. Look at the facts. Batman wears a cape. Lando has a cape… - my kid, about to turn high school fashion on its ear.

is this site about algebra now

The Talmud my students are studying addressed this topic of incels and experts demanding redistribution of sex, around 1500 years ago