If you get cremated after you die you can be put into an hour glass and still participate in family game nights.

Me: “I should have about $200 left” Bank balance: $2.13 Me:

When the washer and dryer did their job and now it's time to do yours

i stay single because i do actually submit to my man in a cat way, though not like a dog he’s my person he thinks he owns me but i really own him

there's no shame in taking longer. you aren't behind, and your timing isn't wrong. your path is just different. life isn't a competition or a race. we all have different strengths and struggles and traumas, different opportunities and access and resources. be easy on yourself🤍

Having 1 cocktail is so dumb. No buzz, I have a headache, and now my sleep and recovery is worse. I want 12 or none at all

Honestly the only number that 3 really “owns” is 9. 6 is its own thing, 4 takes 12, 15 is clearly 5 territory, 18 & 24 are in the 6 family, 21 is embedded in 7’s lore, 27 only reminds me of 9 and 30 is obviously a 10 multiple.

first pic was probably 3 days ago.

real talk? that lady who was like “yassss, king solomon, cut the baby in half!! 😍😍😍” was truly insane and i wish the guys who wrote the bible invested a little more time in her backstory because girl what

Useful tip

At my farm, l reward the best egg layer of the month with a suit

manifesting a high paying low effort remote job

hunter this ruined my day

Sorry I would love to but I just made a bunch of rules for myself and I’m actually not allowed to do that

I’m the least competitive person you will ever meet because I simply do not care professionally, personally or romantically. You can have that role, that game of cards or that nigga. Idc!