"I watch it for the commercials" is one of capitalism's crowning achievements.

say your prayers weezer

Dumb, bad take. I’m not @-ing because they like the attention. Take your time off whenever you want or personally need to.

It's impossible to overstate how much more I enjoy using Twitter with Tweetbot than any of the official interfaces.

Yesterday, a cashier asked me if I knew the ITO EN tea I was buying was unsweetened, and I was borderline offended.

WTF is ALDI’s Twice as Nice Guarantee? What are they twice as nice as—starving to death?

I don’t know anything about Baby Driver, so I’m going to continue believing it’s a Boss Baby spin-off.

I’m never as succinct or as eloquent as this. I’m glad someone else is…

No it is not.

WTF did I just read?

iMessage really needs an edit feature for when you don't notice autocorrect erroneously adding apostrophes to your plurals.

Can a JavaScript promise mend a broken heart?

I used to be excited by conferences, but I have a _strict_ no-work-on-weekends policy, and conferences are work. Doesn't matter how fun they are. I have fun at my office too, but I don't go there Saturday or Sunday. (Pandemic out of sentiment scope)

One of the hypoallergenic/vegan food industry's understated achievements is that they discovered a way to get food to stick to Teflon. Bravo.

There's nothing to celebrate today. However, I'm not one to turn down a food holiday, so happy Grilled Goodies Day.

Good! This is the whole point.

E. B. White declining an invitation: