Gain 5 lbs, work more, be less considerate of others, and increase my impact on the environment.

This is straight out of Don Draper's playbook.

What one sees depends on how one sees. That's why I bleached my eyebrows.

The worst part about second hand smoke isn't cancer, it's the constant reminder that I'm breathing other people's used air.

When your typing is off by one key and you write an entire sentence in Icelandic.

"Sweet I made enough money for an MRI." — heard at the Gully Garage Sale.

Nothing makes me as unreasonably angry as a bike with its size sticker still on. #whygodwhy

"You look like a jar of Flintstones vitamins today." - Pickles

"Man what a bummer week for American bigots." — Mark Wilson

Oh my gosh. #jamiexx #bootsncats @ The Commodore Ballroom instagram.com/p/5ie4vpLG30/

Welcome to our Western Canada dealers here in beautiful Whistler, BC. First some chit-chat, then we… instagram.com/p/6fmTrJQivO/

Did I just see a teeter totter in a bmx web edit? 2015 is weird, man.

"Drive By :: ro bags Indigo G Surplus" by Brian Park feat. the grotesquely vascularized hands of yours truly carryology.com/bags/drive-by-…

Egyptians be like check my profile. #dadjokes

This whole #IndependenceDay viral marketing campaign has really gotten out of hand.

Is there a way to just have a Crankworx victory lap contest? So much less stressful.

the CIA protesting a right wing president being installed by a foreign power might be the funniest thing that has ever happened