My grandfather (big Pitt sports guy) would roll over in his grave if he knew I look forward to the Phillies winning. To clarify, it's bc I get free nugz at my local McDicks.

Just bought a rodeo ticket. Guess I'm slipping into my "Hoe-deo" era.

The amount of people who will simply try to barge into a bathroom stall before knocking is utterly baffling. Like, don't you experience embarrassment? Do you have any self preservation skills?

Imagine being a woman in a power position of a male dominated industry and NOT being a girl's girl. Wild.

Every girl knows a "🎶The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived🎶" so you should go ahead, give that a listen, and reevaluate before proceeding with caution.

The tools from your senior prom who wore only their tux vest during prom are getting married and not much has changed.

Companies will BEND OVER BACKWARDS (costing themselves time and money) to screw over union employees. Like, I bet it's easier to just pay a living wage and stop laying people off to save money so you can pay the corporate people "working from home" more.

I'd be willing to bet the most commonly used adjectives in any dudes dating app bio are "weird/nerdy".

NO ONE cares about your breakup/your ex quite like the Gen x women of your family.

Hey, Sarah J. Maas, when you cast ACOSF, lmk. I've got Clotho covered ☺️ 📚✒️📓

Ok, Butler. Pop off. ((Literally))

All my favorite artists be putting out music I needed three years ago 😅

I have a dream where I open my own business (doesn't matter what) and I staff it exclusively with the hardest workers with the best vibes from every job I've ever had. Talk about the ultimate dream team.

Telling my coworkers I'm using vacation time when they all know I'm sick bc this multi-billion company can't find it in their budget to give me sick pay or at least more vacation so I can do both and not have to choose between vacation (mental health) and my physical health.

I would happily pay like 1.5x what a book is worth simply to get an audiobook version for when I'm driving!

The Gritty head stays ON during sex.

Who even am I? 30 is WILD 😂

My two longest relationships are a pair of wireless earbuds (2019) and my cell phone number (2006).

Something about wiping your tears away before grabbing your diet coke from the McDonald's drive thru employee.

I’m gonna need someone to put “[space] [space] b” at the end of the inscription on my tombstone since that’s how I be ending every digital message I type b