I’m gonna have a flowy skirt summer

the sequel is finally here..

Getting cross eyed stoned while my 5 shot shaken espresso starts kicking in is such a strange feeling I fear I may be god

Everything has to fit me 2 sizes too big or I don’t feel comfortable and it’s so ANNOYING

:/ :(

I think I’m finally at a place in my life where I can enjoy the walking dead

I took my dog on a 10minute walk and we’re both huffing like we just clocked out of a shift it is so fucking HOT

My landlord is in my living room installing windows so naturally I am trapped in my bedroom hearing the faint but passionate call of the cold pizza in my fridge but I refuse to show myself

This man always looks at my story when I don’t have anything FUNNY POSTED

Gonna deep clean my apartment tonight at like 2am when I get off work so I can rot in a sparkly apartment that smells like lavender and musky candles for my off days this week

I took a bed frame for granted so bad baby I miss you

Name’s Gary. Short for Garry.

Not now kitten, daddy’s watching the poop cruise

Okay I think I’m human again

I should have known checkout at Aldi would take 45 minutes I just want my pizza bagels dude im shaking like an excited dog

the lion hadnt really thought about it that way

Nope

why is it so hard to say rough twice in a row : /