I grew up near Grumman. You'd be surprised at all the top secret shit I know.

Ice-T always has nice sunglasses.

I feel like I said a lot of great things yesterday that you should have tweeted.

No--don't tweet that. It's too expressionistic!

You're so cute I just want to scrunch you up into a little ball and put you in a Tomagachi.

Women are just choosy--it's a seller's market out there.

Because now that al qaeda has a twitter, I need to keep mine up to date.

Stop trying to positively reinforce me.

Can you write a whole collection of poems about my house? I feel like you aren't writing enough poems about your positive experiences here.

Well in terms of physics...

The worst part that you're not gonna see on your Hush Puppy .com is that she's not even attractive! #iowa #legalizeddiscrimination

Yes, yes exaggerate!!

Brett Lewis is both the devil and the delight -Ben McCool

This is the best Christmas ever