Cashier: “The receipt is in the bag” Me: “You too”

You will outgrow a lot of people once you start doing what’s best for you

He’s not even pretending to look at the interviewer!

kung fu panda is literally just nacho libre but with animals

up close & personal

Donald Trump shouldn't have to debate both Chris Wallace AND Joe Biden.

Why is Chris Wallace covering for Hunter Biden?

Me forgetting that I exist while driving

October is tomorrow so I’d like to remind everyone that candy corn is trash

October 1st, you know what that means

I got a tattoo of every funny scene in friends

Sisters, you were given the blessing of being daughters of God with special gifts. You brought with you into mortal life a spiritual capacity to nurture others and to lift them higher. #GeneralConference

I’m voting for the side that doesn’t wish literal death on people they disagree with. In 30 days we need to re-elect Donald Trump, fire Nancy Pelosi, retire Joe Biden, and keep the Senate. The future of the republic depends on it.

not to be dramatic but i could eat my grandmas potato salad for every meal

I need some hot cocoa bombs

“do you ever take two sips of water and then think your body needs one more so you take one more?”-mitch “no” - me “oh i thought we could for sure relate on that” - mitch

Sigma Chi is a disgrace