Born 2 monch, forced 2 slobber

It’s a bummer I wasn’t crustier in my early 20s because I hate work but am also scrappy. I would have made an excellent train hopping bum.

My favorite part of teaching this past year was showing my 6th graders Plantasia and them requesting it to play always and sayin “this is the only time my brain has been quiet”

it can be sooo healing to waste $7 per day on special treats

The body keeps the score and I am LOSING

its so hot when witches make that big soup

That Covid booster has me feelin like I got put into an old coffee can and rolled down a hill

some days you look hot. some days you look like a bug. thats just the way it is

Summer is over for this teacher, and I don’t know how I’ll go from leisurely reading, just sitting and eating fruits, seeing all my friends, peeing whenever I want, etc etc to just… wearing slacks and telling kids to please not make porn sounds during state standardized testing

0x7791b1

Bro, I love being married to my best friend ♥️🥺👰🏼

being adult isn’t ALL about staying up late and eating whatever you want. it’s also about paying for those choices

He was in my classroom and I honestly think I have to quit my job

I love working overtime so I can get an extra day off then getting sick so it is not an extra day off at all

I like to get the kind of haircut that makes my mom say “now why would you go and do that”

“RIP dinosaurs, you would have loved redbull”

I took a nap from 5-7 then took myself to dinner from 7-8 and now it’s 9 and I think I will just go to bed again lol

I woke up to my husband whispering “banana boat…like the sun screen, yanno? …I want to eat it. Always have…milkshake straw…”

Mary Oliver knew what the fuck she was talking about!!!!

I don’t know how to write the poem about scrolling through the old tweets of a dead friend when the screen time reminder on my iPhone pops up with the button “ask for more time”. Oh how I would ask and ask and will for my whole life.