The salacious things your friends do when they forget you’re coming over😂😂😂😂

Honestly...who in the absolute fuck, orders $90 worth of fucking Tacobell?!?!?! Are you feeding the Mongolian hoard or are you just an asshole... I vote asshole🙄

the media is spreading misinformation about this, the highway was CLOSED. for the past two weeks the city of seattle has been closing I-5 every single day. this was an intentional attack. not an accident. #seattleprotests #CHOP #CHAZ

“I pizza like shots”

Nothing better than a Friday that drags by 😒

80 days: 6 hours: 7 minutes: 36 seconds until Valhalla!!!

The earliest known socks in recorded history were worn with sandals.

Bad weekend to be my liver

Me: Some bacon tornados from speedway sound lovely for breakfast Speedway worker: Haha the joke is on you bitch. I mislabeled the tornados so you unexpectedly take a giant bite out of a ranchero steak

Hate how early it’s getting dark really cuts into my golf time after work smh

No one: Fast food restaurants during Corona: I’ll have you place your choice of payment(which you touched) in a tub, then proceed to fiddle about getting your payment(which I’m touching anyways now) out of said tub, and watch you struggle to receive your change. 🙄

I guess I’m at the age where I have to explain to someone how the magnetic strip works on a card with no chip

Pre-pandemic...Tacobell says open late. Tacobell now...we don’t have beef and/or we’re closed earlier than other restaurants. Your logo is a lie

What comes to mind when you think of Detroit? Henry Ford, Eminem, Dave Portnoy.

I’m going to be a dad to a baby girl and I literally couldn’t be more excited

World war: nuclear dryft

This might be the best one I’ve seen so far!

Tiger woods will tee it up and play in the masters today. Let’s have a day!!

Chase Baysdell