Bitches really out here using face masks without covering their nose... like step up your game, I use condoms on my ballsack🤡

If she says “lmao” and she still has her ass, her “I love you” is also meaningless🥴

Men are outnumbered by titties 2-1 and I still can't secure a single tit😪

people always saying “hey Brandon, whatchu got onnnn” but never “hey Brandon, what’s going on”🤧

Boutta shower in Spain but the S is silent 🤧 zhaí

Bitches finna be in school like “Omg Brandon gimme my mask backkkkuhhh”

Tinder’s for whores and ugly people and I’m telling you right now, I’m not a fucking whore😡

I cook ONE egg and all the sudden the 50 dishes in the sink are MY responsibility 🥴

I love how each of my classes uses a different online lecture tool like webX, BlueJeans, MicrosoftTeams, and edX...I really get the privledge of suffering the full online experience 🥰 don’t even get me started on MyMathLab, Achieve, and Macmillan Learning making me pay for hw🤩

Yo brain over 80% water but you still can't think of a text that ain't dry huh