If you wait until you are ready you never will.

If you aren’t on that new Sturgill record I can’t help you hoss #MutinyAfterMidnight

This what the water look like PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE lol

Nope. They’re all kolaches. They stopped being Czech in the 80s and became a Texan cuisine. If the Czexans wanted them to be called klobasneks they woulda worked harder to preserve the name. Definitions evolve. Bez práce nejsou koláče. (Without work - no kolaches, Czech proverb)

every opening day i think about it (selena's 90s astros bomber jacket)

My youngest boy looks like he’s pledging sigma nu

I’m speechless

I met a wigger in his 40s (maybe early 50s) who went by the name “T-minus” a few weeks ago and come to find out he was the dude that owned this NSX back in ‘01. Really nice guy.

There’s a guy at the farmers market with shorter shorts than me. Now we have to battle so I can assert dominance.

When I worked in a Mexican restaurant the line cooks would mix up a jumbo margarita with 50% tequila in this bad boy and call it a “shift lemonade”

I think I’d survive

Someone put a cookie cake in the work break room. No note, no icing inscription. Everyone ate it with no questions. You could kill so many people with a cookie cake.

thats the beard the little rascals used when they tried to get a loan from the bank

I know you were hoping for no more war today…. Best I can do is endless war

Strait of Hormuz

Lipitor

Sloppiest blowjob award goes to this fucking retard.

Remember that I predicted a long time ago that President Obama will attack Iran because of his inability to negotiate properly-not skilled!

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS