Work attire

At the movie theatre. I can see why they call it "the big screen"

A dad and son are in a car accident and are both badly hurt. They are both taken to separate hospitals. When the boy is taken in for an operation, the docror 'I can not do the surgery because this is my son'. How is this possible? mike cyclops

God created the Florida man in his own image

My dad is 65, pursuing a modeling career, and I’ve never seen him happier. He told me he’s just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dad.

WEEEEEEE

something quirky about me is that i’m allergic to amoxicillin

absolutely STUNNING #MetGala

me: can i get a trenta water starbucks:

Bitches watch one season of Greys Anatomy and get grounded bc they attempted an emergency tracheotomy on their Grandpa at Cracker Barrel bc his voice is old and raspy and makes it sound like he’s choking I’m bitches

Prison guard:Ok time for your final meal what do you want? Prisoner 1: I want steak & mashed potatoes Prisoner 2: I want lobster & some champagne Me: I want to sit in a highchair and eat dry cheerios directly off the table Prison guard: God, I cant wait for you to finally die

don’t care didn’t ask plus you’re holding a fish in your profile picture

Corona virus won’t keep us from getting excited about next season. So, let us introduce our CNDT 2020-2021 captains, @ashley_meas Emma.braaten @courtneyhollis_ 💙💛💙 #cndt #allin Storm Athletics