If it tastes like chicken keep lickin if it tastes like trout get the fuck out!

@KatieCoultas we do when they are fat and ugly...

I should not be awake right now

28% of teens in the U.S will get a sexually transmitted disease before they graduate high school. RT if your favorite dip is Copenhagen

The two or three mini pinches you put in after realizing the initial one wasn't quite big enough #TDM

I'd take years off my life before I take life off my years

The woman who invented the phrase "all men are the same" was a Chinese woman who last her hisband in a crowd!

We aren't shavin' the beards anytime soon sorry rays! #letsgosox!

And that's the ballgame!

Real friends always know two things you: 1) What beer you drink 2) What dip you pack

Everyone and there grandma is going to luke bryan tonight and I'm that one guus who isn't..