It's already Wednesday and I'm still trying to figure out how to zip up my human costume

Part of my regimen for recovery from this cold is actually me just screaming to myself GET BETTER. OOH I SWEAR TO GOT GET BETTER YOU FUCKING B-

#kindatastelikestarburstonthethe3rdor4thdrink

We have over 50 likes, we can be tax exempt

#thatprovedfruitless

Me: Nose goes, you gotta pick where we're eating Gracie: Wait, no, I didn't know we were playing Me: No one ever knows (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#baconcheddarthots

Groop and I are both sitting not 2 feet from the controller and neither of us will turn on Hannibal. It is a test of wills. This is our design.

Omg I can't watch Queer Eye while I'm on shift. So many honey-nut feelios o(╥﹏╥)o

The union submitting their proposal for wage increase vs the CEOs, etc

My friends: you know they have those key finders you can use since you're always misplacing your keys... Me: are you implying I won't also lose the remote?

Suki doing Hamdoodle

It’s been a millennia since I’ve posted but I need everyone (my 2 1/2 followers) to know that compression socks are dope

Logging in for the first time in five thousand years to say 세븐틴(SEVENTEEN) I need those red outfits from your Super performance videos to LARP in