[seeing my own reflection]: don’t have any change, sorry man

Delusional Takes Airliners could save so much on fuel and pass the savings to customers if they flew four feet off the ground but they won’t because of CORPORATE GREED!

you never know what someone is going through. they could be having a blast

Showing up 20 minutes late to work with a huge ice cream cone

Advanced Summer 2

open.spotify.com/track/3wYiCi2J…

recipes be like: just 1 more ingredient bro plese 1 more ingredient i swear

pronouncing Gatorade like it’s portuguese

the beauty of writing is overhearing yourself say the things you did not know you knew

fettuccine afraid hoe

scrolling twitter with my phone in horizontal mode

countersignaling? i barely know her

i put the can in cancer ♋️

i put the gem in gemini

people are always like “let loose.” let loose do what?!! i don’t get it. what am i supposed to let this loose guy do?

showing this to my barber at great clips

kill the camera

the calendar is just more crazy

wait so if there's mini cooper that means... cooper... my man 😂🤝🚗