I made my mom something called salt rising bread because she always talks about it. Instead of yeast, it rises from the population of c-perf which is the same bacteria in festering human wounds.

Sometimes when I am lazy, I record "drums" by smacking my fingers on my desk and then process those into things. I think it might sound better than actual drums.

My favorite internet is people selling mirrors on Facebook Marketplace.

Hey internet! I just got a $1900 treadmill for $0. Ask me anything. #ama

Elf painted my toenails last night, and my son didn't even bother to read the note that was written by the elf in my handwriting that indicated that he had painted my toes... so.