I don't normally publish conversations with Downing Street but this was my initial exchange with Downing Street's then director of communications over Mandelson failing vetting on 11 September last year.

Anyone defending Starmer was 100% calling for Boris to be sacked for being the exact same type of dishonest, bus-throwing career weasel

James O' Brien realised Senator Palpatine was a villain at the same time as Anakin did in the third prequel

And Unemployed Starmer by May !

From the makers of "I Didn't Know There Was a Party" comes the thrilling sequel "I Didn't Know That Hiring a Billionairre Paedophile's Bestie Was a Bad Idea"

This is the Avengers Endgame of batshit racists. Everyone's chipping in ! Fake Priest, Tiny Tom, Calgon, and the yank who was too nuts for Trump

NEW: The BBC failed to name Israel as the perpetrator in Israeli attacks where civilians were killed in Gaza in 50% of all analysed cases, a new data report from NewsCord shows.

When my boss is looking over my shoulder and im looking for the email we both know I havent sent

The only reason he stood against Boris Johnson is because he wanted to be him

Really really hard to know when labour are being sarcastic now

Zack Polanski completed his Pokedex by buying two Game Boy Colours, a link cable and a copy of both Pokemon Red and Blue instead of trading with pals and he used the Missingno glitch to clone nuggets, rare candies and master balls to make the elite four easier

What an cruel, petulant gang of monsters this labour party are

Well done Labour voters - letting Reform in again instead of voting Green

Have you tried not being a lying, disappointing, unaccountable, infuriating, careerist weathervane who does nothing, says nothing and panders to the ultrawealthy greedmongering 0.01%

He has not so much already opened that door but taken the entire thing off downing street along with all the windows and the roof. He's currently in the process of building a conveyer belt directly into the building that connects to Nigel's house

Sources tell me Keir Starmer is stable Please God

Mental right ? Imagine if there was a world war and the opposing sides put down their guns and played football together in no man's land

Their ace in the hole in their fight against reform is a man whose career death-knell was him being covertly recorded calling someone a bigot for their immigration stance

Seeing as he's now got 5 million quid's worth of security, I presume there is no longer anything preventing him from hosting regular surgeries in his constituency ?

The first nice thing Starmer's party has seen delivered