Lion & horse decide to treat themselves to dinner in a fancy restaurant. Lion: 2 prawn cocktails to start please. Waiter: And for your mains? Lion: He'll have a brush and I just need a comb. Mornin!

More than £68,000,000 has been spent to dual the A1. So, how are they getting along? Well, it hasn't even started. Even worse, it has been cancelled. Nothing was built. £68 million. Wasted. Is this good value for money?

Manchester Police are on the hunt for a drag queen who robbed a local store. They say he's a local man with a Wigan address.

Government regulation in France: Above a certain size, building new homes requires a licensed architect. Outcome:

Attempts at explaining triple lock #87 You’re at the pub with friends Every hour the price of a round increases The first round costs less and not everyone has arrived yet. Result. That was current pensioners when they were working. As the night goes on the price keeps

This is a truly terrible idea, which expands the remit of “developer contributions” and further complicates the delivery of housing by adding in more third parties and more legal agreements. It brings the NHS - one of the slowest moving organisations in all existence - as an

Royal Borough of Greenwich Bravo! You now have SIXTEEN traffic signs at the little corner of rarely busy Langdon Way and St Johns Park Road - with another 8 just yards away! Congrats guys! They said it couldn't be done. Always thinking of the environment eh?

I think a huge part of the reason why no government has been able to enact difficult pro-growth reforms is that the average voter still believes we remain a rich country. You hear this in politicians’ rhetoric “the sixth richest country in the world”. We’re the sixth largest

Nice goal. But what about the 2 headers? What was the ball made of.

First time I've been aware they don't just use the same one. Do they get to keep it when leaving?

Remembering Charles Grodin (1935–2021) on his birthday. Grodin’s Jonathan “The Duke” Mardukas in Midnight Run (1988) doesn’t get talked about enough, every line, every look, even chained up he’s still the one controlling the scene.

Fairly close with this guess...

If you can't find anyone willing to buy your house for £850k, then it's not actually worth £850k

This was in February I think.

Butthole Surfers Who Was in My Room Last Night? (1993) youtu.be/IRbAxhTNkBY?si…

🎙️"𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥" Take a bow Mark Allen. Fantabulous.

The moment Sheffield Wednesday fans found out their club isn’t facing any points deductions next season… #SWFC

40-year-old Billy Sharp has just scored a HATTRICK in his final game for Doncaster Rovers… What a moment for the bloke 👏🌟