Apple's iphone sock....

Artsy motherfucker right here.

I occasionally fear I've got mild astigmatism, but then realize, no, I'm fine and that I'm just watching too many A24 films.

I'm super fucking over seeing people in their socks in the weight room. 99% of them have shit form to begin with and being shoeless isn't doing anyting but putting them (and the gym) at risk.

When tracking something on USPS, you've got two options: a) We have the package, but we don't know where, why or who's it from. b) It's been at your front door for three days.

Seoul for a week. Let's get packing 🇰🇷

This is 6'4" 220

'You know, some people say global warming is a hoax, perpetrated by the Chinese. But I say SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS! Cause why would Xi Jinping want to flood my basement and rust my bowflex? ... To what end? ... TO WHAT END?!'

Alinea Chicago losing a star is no shock. They've been treading on old Achatz tricks for years, not implementing anything new or groundbreaking and charging a mint for the meal. I will say their service team remains an incredible 3-star experience.

There's nothing less attractive than a grown ass gay man calling himself 'boy,' either online or IRL.

'The OnlyFans Jump Scare' When a creator has a great body/dick, but doesn't his show face in the previews. It's only after you subscribe that you realize god doesn't always give with both hands.

The only worthwhile reason to see the newest 'Now You See Me' is for Rosamund Pike's glorious South African accent.

Getting suspended for 12 whole hours over Megyn Kelly snark? Priceless.

Some call this a 'staycation' I call it a longer airport delay.

Stacked. Jacked.

No dude, you're not driving 1:30 from Austin to San Antonio just to blow me and swallow my load. My personal limits on Grindr trade travel are limited to a 2 mi radius... 1 mi if we're in a major metro.

There's no greater disagreement than when a Texan and a New Yorker say 'Houston'

It's early girlie. Let's go to Seoul.

🌏🌏🌏